Sure-fire Sports Predictions
Baseball's post-season has turned into a dreadfully predictable affair. Where once there was drama, now there is inevitability. A golden rule has emerged that rules baseball play in October: he who is hot, wins. It ain't pitching. Defense does not win you championships. A murderer's row just isn't enough. And as the past several years have demonstrated, if you win a lot in September, you're probably going to be partying a lot in October. So with that in mind, I presnet my fearless predictions for this year's MLB playoffs.
In the AL, a league that I can't stand because of the DH, and Idea that was most likely spawned by evil incarnate or maybe W, the stage is nearly set. NY, Boston and Minnesota, we know. The leaves Anaheim with a game lead of Oakland in the West. SoCal has been scoarching the past 2 weeks and NoCal has been nowhere to be found, so let's Sharpie marker the match-ups: NY vs Minnesota and Boston vs Anaheim. Those could actually flip-flop, depending on how the Anaheim and Minnesota do since right now they're tied. Either case, I think Boston and Anaheim are going to square off, wether in the 1st or 2nd round, and Boston will win. Eventually, Boston will be headed to the World Series as NY just doesn't have the mojo this year. But you know what? It doesn't matter becasue this year's World Series Champ is coming from teh NL.
You have St. Louis locked in at the Central and Atlanta in the East. St. Louis is backing into the playoff, picking the wrong time to be playing the worst baseball. They're done, pulling a Mariners in the first round. And Atlanta, the other first round host, well, they've show over the years what spineless, uninspired play gets you in the post season: an early exit. And they'll get more of the same again this year. That means the NL Championship series will come down to the winner of the Wild West and the Wild Card. And San Fran doesn't play a hand in either (this is a whole karma thing and there's no way I'm picking a team with Barry Bonds on it to do anything but die a slow death). And unfortunately for the Dodgers, they traded their bull-pen and their leader back in July so they're not going to make a run. That leaves us the Cubs or the Astros as the eventual NL Wild Card and World Champ.
I'm sorry, Blair. They really have given it a valient effort all year. But this past week, your Cubbies have been absolutely mediocre. They gave themselves every chance to stand up and scream, "THIS IS OUR YEAR". But all they've done instead is hope that the Giants keep losing, too while the Astros came flying from behind and 'YOINK' snatch the Wild Card away.
The Astros? Am I insane? No. I've just watched a local team, the Angels, fly out of no where 2 years ago to grab the Wild Card and the ring and then my 2nd favorite team, the Marlins (a team I watched grow up) do the exact same thing last year. That, my friends, earns you quality karma, mojo AND history points. It's almost a formula at this point: stay within striking distance, keep your starting pitching solid and under the radar, don't let your bullpen blow up, have a couple of clutch situational bats (no need for a moster masher like Bonds), and win down the stretch wehn it really matters. That's where they are. The only thing that concerns me about the pick is that before the season, the Astros had expectations where the Angels and MArlins had none. However, we're talking about a formula here and where would Coke or KFC be without a formula? Exactly.
It sucks, I know. Who in the hell gives a crap about the Astros? No one. But you know what, no one gave a crap about the Angels or Marlins eaither. Seriously. It was just random dumb luck that I had a connection with both of those teams. But I have no connection with the Astros so I will most assuredly NOT be watching game 7 of the World Series. I don't want to have to see the countless fan shots in Fenway. The one's where the fans have the inexplicable "there is no way Carlos Beltran just belted the game winning homer" look. Many of them crying. The Red Sox and Boston deserve better than having that happen to them and from the Astros no less. Could be worse though. Could be the Mets again.
Reason # 1086 not to vote for W: When he start's on the "KERRY THE FLIP FLOPPER" rants at his horrifically staged ralleys, and he gets that stupid look on his face (you know the one I"m talking about, where he's shrugging his shoulders and his head is bobbing a bit and he has this completely comfused and quizzical look like, "I can't believe these people are actually falling for this crap") I just want to punch him. And anyone who you just want to punch for no good reason should NOT be a world leader.
In the AL, a league that I can't stand because of the DH, and Idea that was most likely spawned by evil incarnate or maybe W, the stage is nearly set. NY, Boston and Minnesota, we know. The leaves Anaheim with a game lead of Oakland in the West. SoCal has been scoarching the past 2 weeks and NoCal has been nowhere to be found, so let's Sharpie marker the match-ups: NY vs Minnesota and Boston vs Anaheim. Those could actually flip-flop, depending on how the Anaheim and Minnesota do since right now they're tied. Either case, I think Boston and Anaheim are going to square off, wether in the 1st or 2nd round, and Boston will win. Eventually, Boston will be headed to the World Series as NY just doesn't have the mojo this year. But you know what? It doesn't matter becasue this year's World Series Champ is coming from teh NL.
You have St. Louis locked in at the Central and Atlanta in the East. St. Louis is backing into the playoff, picking the wrong time to be playing the worst baseball. They're done, pulling a Mariners in the first round. And Atlanta, the other first round host, well, they've show over the years what spineless, uninspired play gets you in the post season: an early exit. And they'll get more of the same again this year. That means the NL Championship series will come down to the winner of the Wild West and the Wild Card. And San Fran doesn't play a hand in either (this is a whole karma thing and there's no way I'm picking a team with Barry Bonds on it to do anything but die a slow death). And unfortunately for the Dodgers, they traded their bull-pen and their leader back in July so they're not going to make a run. That leaves us the Cubs or the Astros as the eventual NL Wild Card and World Champ.
I'm sorry, Blair. They really have given it a valient effort all year. But this past week, your Cubbies have been absolutely mediocre. They gave themselves every chance to stand up and scream, "THIS IS OUR YEAR". But all they've done instead is hope that the Giants keep losing, too while the Astros came flying from behind and 'YOINK' snatch the Wild Card away.
The Astros? Am I insane? No. I've just watched a local team, the Angels, fly out of no where 2 years ago to grab the Wild Card and the ring and then my 2nd favorite team, the Marlins (a team I watched grow up) do the exact same thing last year. That, my friends, earns you quality karma, mojo AND history points. It's almost a formula at this point: stay within striking distance, keep your starting pitching solid and under the radar, don't let your bullpen blow up, have a couple of clutch situational bats (no need for a moster masher like Bonds), and win down the stretch wehn it really matters. That's where they are. The only thing that concerns me about the pick is that before the season, the Astros had expectations where the Angels and MArlins had none. However, we're talking about a formula here and where would Coke or KFC be without a formula? Exactly.
It sucks, I know. Who in the hell gives a crap about the Astros? No one. But you know what, no one gave a crap about the Angels or Marlins eaither. Seriously. It was just random dumb luck that I had a connection with both of those teams. But I have no connection with the Astros so I will most assuredly NOT be watching game 7 of the World Series. I don't want to have to see the countless fan shots in Fenway. The one's where the fans have the inexplicable "there is no way Carlos Beltran just belted the game winning homer" look. Many of them crying. The Red Sox and Boston deserve better than having that happen to them and from the Astros no less. Could be worse though. Could be the Mets again.
Reason # 1086 not to vote for W: When he start's on the "KERRY THE FLIP FLOPPER" rants at his horrifically staged ralleys, and he gets that stupid look on his face (you know the one I"m talking about, where he's shrugging his shoulders and his head is bobbing a bit and he has this completely comfused and quizzical look like, "I can't believe these people are actually falling for this crap") I just want to punch him. And anyone who you just want to punch for no good reason should NOT be a world leader.
posted by RauluaP at 1:33 PM
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