If this is Fantasyland, I must be on Dumbo
September 4th, 2004. The date of my money league's Fantasy Football Draft. The date that, as a Fantasy Football Fiend, I was looking forward to since last December, the end of the Fantasy Football Season. I am not making this up when I say that the Fantsy Draft is the best day of the sporting year. And yes, I'm in 5 leagues, so you could agrue that I had 5 best days of the year. Except this one is my money league. The league where I've won the regular season title for 2 straight years. So it has a little more importance.
A brief Fantsy Football Primer: you draft individual offensive players that are on NFL teams. Each week, you set up the players you want to start on your team (you have extra players that sit on your bench) and compete against someone else's team for that week. You get points for yards and scores and lose point for fumbles and interceptions. If your starters manage more points than your opponants', then you win that week. The players on your team are not necessarily on the same NFL team. So, for example, I have a Running Back from Green Bay and a Wide Reciever from the NY Jets.
A highlight for me (and probalby not for Jenn) during our vacation was going to be the draft. Given already discussed circumstances, I (and 4 other out-of-towners) didn't make it. Also, because of those same circumstances, none of the other 9 people in the league that were already in South Florida could go anywhere. So we opted to set up a chat room and handle the draft that way, except that only 8 of the 14 either had power or were at the location of where their computer would normally be found, again because of already discussed MOTHER FUCKING HURRICANES GOD DA*$^#%@*&*$. OK, I'm sorry. Anyway. There were 8 of us on a computer. 1 guy on computer had 2 people on one phone. I had 2 people on another phone. And one of those 2 had 2 OTHER people on another phone. You can imagine the nightmare.
Me to Guy with 2 people on the phone: "OK, it's guy #1 on the phone's turn to pick. The last 4 picks since we last spoke have been blah blah blah blah. OK, call me when you have his pick"
2 minutes pass
GW2POTP: "What was the 3rd pick?"
Me: "Blah"
GW2POTP: "I thought that's what you said. That's who he wanted. Who would you take with this pick?"
Me: "Just get a pick for CHRIST'S SAKE!!! What does it matter who I'd take. GW2POTP, you're really beginning to piss me off."
GW2POTP: "OK, calm down. Just relax. I'll call you back when he makes his pick."
5 minutes pass
GW2POTP: "He wants blah. So who should I take with my next pick. I've got to get a Wide Receiver but I can't decide between Blah and Blah."
Me: sending nulear war heads to a hospital in South Florida where GW2POTP was located and on the phone (his wife had had a baby on Thursday, so you think I was displeased...)
This is how it went. For 6 hours. I probalby used 358 minutes on my cell phone that day. And throw in the fact that my apartment is the black hole of cell phone reception. What, in regular circumstances in a live draft (which tend to last a little long due to people making fun of each other and eating and trying to look at other peoples' stat sheets) would take about 2 hours, maybe 3 given that GW2POTP (who runs the thing) is highly laid back, highly unorganized and wouldn't rush someone to douse out his hair if it were on fire, took 6 HOURS!! And this was the first full day of my vacation.
I felt absolutely terrible about it. I didn't even know how to apologize to Jenn. There aren't words. Throw in the fact that what was supposed to be my most highly anticipated day turned into my own little brand of impatient, ADD riddled hell. Seriously, I know what hell will be like when I get there. I'll be at Disney World on nudist day and I'm holding my fantasy football draft while there EXCEPT there's a 2 hour wait for everything, Pirates of the Carribean, the Haunted Mansion and all the Mountains are closed for refurbishment, it's 45 degrees F out, so the only people naked are those with enough blubber to prevent a little chill from ruining their day (hey, they haven't seen their privates in 20 years so they won't notice a little shrinkage) and the other people that were supposed to come along for the draft were not able to get to Ornaldo so we're having it with everyone via cell phone and GW2POTP is the moderator.
Anyway, It's over now and I have a team.
I won my first match-up last week. For those who care, my big guns are Ahman Green, Kevin Barlow and Santana Moss. I'll be rotating the following recievers in the #2 and 3 spots all year (you start 2 RB's and 3 WR's): David Terrell, Plaxico Burress and Dieon Branch. QB will also be a rotation of Jake Plummer and Tommy Maddox, looking for match-ups against weak D's. TE, K and DEFENSE positions really don't matter all that much.
It should be a rally nice, long, Fantasy Season. And it will be a fantasy because I know the nightmare is already over.
REASON # 45 why not to vote for W: He would not sponser a nudist day at Disney World.
A brief Fantsy Football Primer: you draft individual offensive players that are on NFL teams. Each week, you set up the players you want to start on your team (you have extra players that sit on your bench) and compete against someone else's team for that week. You get points for yards and scores and lose point for fumbles and interceptions. If your starters manage more points than your opponants', then you win that week. The players on your team are not necessarily on the same NFL team. So, for example, I have a Running Back from Green Bay and a Wide Reciever from the NY Jets.
A highlight for me (and probalby not for Jenn) during our vacation was going to be the draft. Given already discussed circumstances, I (and 4 other out-of-towners) didn't make it. Also, because of those same circumstances, none of the other 9 people in the league that were already in South Florida could go anywhere. So we opted to set up a chat room and handle the draft that way, except that only 8 of the 14 either had power or were at the location of where their computer would normally be found, again because of already discussed MOTHER FUCKING HURRICANES GOD DA*$^#%@*&*$. OK, I'm sorry. Anyway. There were 8 of us on a computer. 1 guy on computer had 2 people on one phone. I had 2 people on another phone. And one of those 2 had 2 OTHER people on another phone. You can imagine the nightmare.
Me to Guy with 2 people on the phone: "OK, it's guy #1 on the phone's turn to pick. The last 4 picks since we last spoke have been blah blah blah blah. OK, call me when you have his pick"
2 minutes pass
GW2POTP: "What was the 3rd pick?"
Me: "Blah"
GW2POTP: "I thought that's what you said. That's who he wanted. Who would you take with this pick?"
Me: "Just get a pick for CHRIST'S SAKE!!! What does it matter who I'd take. GW2POTP, you're really beginning to piss me off."
GW2POTP: "OK, calm down. Just relax. I'll call you back when he makes his pick."
5 minutes pass
GW2POTP: "He wants blah. So who should I take with my next pick. I've got to get a Wide Receiver but I can't decide between Blah and Blah."
Me: sending nulear war heads to a hospital in South Florida where GW2POTP was located and on the phone (his wife had had a baby on Thursday, so you think I was displeased...)
This is how it went. For 6 hours. I probalby used 358 minutes on my cell phone that day. And throw in the fact that my apartment is the black hole of cell phone reception. What, in regular circumstances in a live draft (which tend to last a little long due to people making fun of each other and eating and trying to look at other peoples' stat sheets) would take about 2 hours, maybe 3 given that GW2POTP (who runs the thing) is highly laid back, highly unorganized and wouldn't rush someone to douse out his hair if it were on fire, took 6 HOURS!! And this was the first full day of my vacation.
I felt absolutely terrible about it. I didn't even know how to apologize to Jenn. There aren't words. Throw in the fact that what was supposed to be my most highly anticipated day turned into my own little brand of impatient, ADD riddled hell. Seriously, I know what hell will be like when I get there. I'll be at Disney World on nudist day and I'm holding my fantasy football draft while there EXCEPT there's a 2 hour wait for everything, Pirates of the Carribean, the Haunted Mansion and all the Mountains are closed for refurbishment, it's 45 degrees F out, so the only people naked are those with enough blubber to prevent a little chill from ruining their day (hey, they haven't seen their privates in 20 years so they won't notice a little shrinkage) and the other people that were supposed to come along for the draft were not able to get to Ornaldo so we're having it with everyone via cell phone and GW2POTP is the moderator.
Anyway, It's over now and I have a team.
I won my first match-up last week. For those who care, my big guns are Ahman Green, Kevin Barlow and Santana Moss. I'll be rotating the following recievers in the #2 and 3 spots all year (you start 2 RB's and 3 WR's): David Terrell, Plaxico Burress and Dieon Branch. QB will also be a rotation of Jake Plummer and Tommy Maddox, looking for match-ups against weak D's. TE, K and DEFENSE positions really don't matter all that much.
It should be a rally nice, long, Fantasy Season. And it will be a fantasy because I know the nightmare is already over.
REASON # 45 why not to vote for W: He would not sponser a nudist day at Disney World.
posted by RauluaP at 1:10 PM
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