Junk Bonds

I have a sports theory: you can't REALLY be a fan of a team/sport unless you LOVE a specific team/person in that sport and HATE a specific team/person in that person. As most of you all know, my allegiances lie with Pittsburgh. I have some affinity for Miami teams, but when push comes to shove, I'm a 'Burgh thing. And THAT is the reason that, in baseball, I HATE BARRY BONDS.

Hate him.

Flames, FLAMES from the side of my face...

OK, I'll grant you that if I was from Butte, MT, you could say, "hey, Paul, Barry Bonds very well may be the most self absorbed, biggest asshole in all of sports, why do YOU get to hate Barry just because you used to play for Pittsburgh." There's 2 things working here that go far beyond just free agency. I never hated Bobby Bonilla after he left, or any of the Steelers Linebackers. But Barry get special treatment because:

1) In 3 straight years in the playoffs, he did absolutely, positively NOTHING in a single one of them to help win a game. And 2 of those went to game 7's. And one of those, he had a chance to throw out a guy at the plate, a guy that had MAJOR knee surgery within the past 2 years on BOTH knees, but he didn't. Are you telling me that a league MVP, the supposed best player in baseball isn't worth at least 1 W in 14 games? Well, it seems not. How can this person be the best player in baseball? How can this person be considered one of the best players of all time. You throw up a bagel in 3 straight 7 game series, YOU CANNOT BE MENTIONED IN THE GROUP OF GREATEST ALL TIME. It's not like the Pirates were the Dolphin of the same era where Dan Marino were the only players worth a damn on the team. These were GOOD TEAMS. Solid D up the middle. Great situational hitters. Fantastic starting pitching. The best of all time win one game out of every seven single-handedly for their teams. Even in the games they DID win, Barry had little if any part in those victories. And this is one of the best of all time? I don't think so and pardon me if I have a free pass to be a little bitter.

2) In a last ditched effort to keep their "star" in Pittsburgh, the Pirates gave Barry an offer of (and I'm working off of 12 year memory here) 10 years $108 Million. The per year average was less than what the Giants had offered. But this is baseball where contracts are guaranteed. Let's say he pulled a Graff, Jr. And started getting hurt every year and could barely play in year 10 of the deal. As long as he doesn't retire, HE'S GETTING $ OVER A 10 YEAR PERIOD. You're telling me that that's not a fair deal? He had only one goal: play for the Giants. I freely grant that it's a free country and you should be able to work for whoever you want. But what ever happened to loyalty. What about, "Hey Pittsburgh, I'm sorry that for the past 3 years I've been the WORST clutch game performer of all time. I'm going to stay here, show some loyalty and right the ship." Nope. Instead he bailed. And this is a guy that I'm supposed to like and look up to? This is a guy I'm supposed to respect? Nope.

So fuck Barry Bond. Fuck every single sports writer that thinks the reason we hate Barry is because he's black. Fuck the Giants. Fuck anyone who thinks he's the best ever.

I Hate Barry Bonds because for 3 years he was the worst player on the field when it really counted. I hate Barry Bonds because he has no sense of loyalty. I hate Barry Bonds because in everything you ever hear him say, you get the feeling that he's above the game he plays. I hate Barry Bonds because he took illegal substances and now I'm forced to feel like I should look up to him. I hate Barry Bonds because he has never done a single thing to further the image of the African American athlete and I can't hate him in spite of that. I hate Barry because he represents EVERYTHING that is BAD in sports (with the exception of gambling).

And Fuck the Browns while we're at it.

Reason 540 not to vote for W: He probably called Barry to congratulate him last night.