Monday, November 27, 2006

Library for Dummies

I just read a thing today in the Washington Post how The Village Idiot's minions intend to raise $500 million for the Idiot's library. It will be housed at SMU and will not only feature the library but will also be used to create a "think tank" where Idiot-friendly scholars are paid to write books and papers and opinions that speak favorably of the Idiot's "policies".

There are far too many obvious jokes to list here. But I'm going to try, damn it! I will list as many as I can come up with and you feel free to join in the fun.

- One cool thing about a library for a President with the Village Idiot's mental capacity: I bet it has a really great comic book section!
- Do you have to have documented proof that you burned at least 5 books making reference to evolution, global warming, or fossil fuel alternatives before you can be hired as a librarian at the Village Idiot's library.
- A THINK TANK for the VILLAGE IDIOT. The whole thing is a shallow end.
- We'll finally know the answer to the age old question: if everyone that visits a particular library is illiterate, do the books contain any words?
- Since it's the Village Idiot's think tank, shouldn't it more properly be called a think bowl? Or maybe think spoon?
- Over/under for pop-up books at the Village Idiot's library: 492. I'm taking the over.
- Only this President would need to pay people to continue to spin his "policies" AFTER he's President.
- Who would have thought it would cost $500 Million to relocate Fox News's headquarters to the campus of SMU?
- Any chance this library can get the same treatment the NCAA gave to SMU's athletic department?
- Why SMU? Did Liberty's campus not have the space and did heaven itself reject the idea?
- Has the opening of a library ever set thinking BACK 100 years?
- If you don't return one of your books on time to the Idiot's library, are you declared an enemy combatant? What techniques are at the librarians' disposal for retrieval of over due books?
- Given this administration's notoriety for secrecy, are there actually going to be enough documents to fill a library let alone a book?
- Invest in Glade stock now because sales of air-freshener in Dallas is going to go through the roof with the mountain of BS that's going to get piled up there.
- I'm not sure the librarians are going to be prepared for how much laughing there will be going on there. Intelligent people are bound to slip through the doors from time to time and it will be impossible not to laugh at the fiction being disseminated as facts there.
- I hope there's an interactive area where visitors can pretend to be the media. You get a chance to kiss the butt of a statue of the Village Idiot. You can ask an actor playing the Press Secretary a tough question and just watch him dance in response. And then on your way out, you're given a chance to copy, word for word, from a leaflet written by one of the members of the think spoon and see if you can get it printed as "news."
- In what section should we expect to find My Pet Goat?

I joke because otherwise, I'd want to cry. Seriously though, the dude spent less than that on his re-election. Wasn't that a big enough waste of money? Couldn't these idiots figure out something more important to do with it than memorialize and try to defend one of the most divisive Presidents ever. No? That's the best we can do? Pathetic. And I bet they call themselves Christians (People have used my father's religion against him in similar arguements, I figure I'm allowed once in a while, too!).


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