Bill Cower's Jaw Facts
In homage to the brilliant web site chucknorrisfacts.com, I present to you a list of some facts about Bill Cower’s jaw. These were written mostly during the 1st half of the heart-stopping Steelers-Colts playoff game with the help of Blair, Jennifer and Uncle Ken. ENJOY!
- In order to exercise his jaw muscles, Bill Cower chews on steel.
- Bill Cower eats jawbreakers like they’re Skittles.
- People say Bill Cower has a diamond Jaw. Not because it’s made of diamonds, like a boxer who is said to have a glass chin. But because, when he chews on coal, he spits out diamonds.
- When the Steelers play a road game near an ocean, the Coast Guard has to adjust the tide tables to account for Bill Cower’s spit.
- The reason Bill Cower spits when he talks is because his jaw holds over a gallon of liquid.
- During the off season, Bill Cower works at an Alligator Show in Florida….as an alligator. This past summer, 4 Alligator wrestlers lost fingers to Bill Cower.
- The phone company is hoping that Bill Cower will retire soon. They would like to have their best ever cable cutter back.
- DNA results are conclusive: Bill Cower is a direct descendent of the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
- Bill Cower’s jaw is the missing link.
- During a family vacation to the Amazon jungle, a primitive tribe mistook Bill Cower for the god from which the Amazon River originates. They believe his spit to have medicinal qualities. During the hour or so Bill Spoke with the tribe, they were able to collect 137 gallons of healing spit.
- As a kid, Bill Cower had a job shoeing horses. He never had any tools, just his jaw.
- When Bill Cower is presenting game film, none of the players are willing to sit in the front row for fear of a jaw related injury. Also, if the meeting runs too long, they might end up below the high spit mark.
- Bill Cower doesn’t have air bags in his car. He has sand bags.
- Bill Cower considers George Washington a pussy. Wooden teeth? Pussy!
- Bill Cower has to have his titanium teeth caps replaced annually.
- Geologists have frequently used Bill Cower’s jaw to test theories on the pressure at the Earth’s core. He sometimes spits lava.
- Bridge designers had to engineer Bill Cower’s braces when he was a teenager.
- Bill Cower has to use arm extensions to help around the house. He can’t reach past his jaw.
- Bill Cower’s tongue is an interesting genetic adaptation. It is made of Teflon.
- Like the song, Bill Cower met his wife at a bus stop on a rainy day. He didn’t share his umbrella though. He used the umbrella, she used his chin.
- Bill Cower’s wife wears a helmet during sex. You learn after a couple concussions.
- In order to exercise his jaw muscles, Bill Cower chews on steel.
- Bill Cower eats jawbreakers like they’re Skittles.
- People say Bill Cower has a diamond Jaw. Not because it’s made of diamonds, like a boxer who is said to have a glass chin. But because, when he chews on coal, he spits out diamonds.
- When the Steelers play a road game near an ocean, the Coast Guard has to adjust the tide tables to account for Bill Cower’s spit.
- The reason Bill Cower spits when he talks is because his jaw holds over a gallon of liquid.
- During the off season, Bill Cower works at an Alligator Show in Florida….as an alligator. This past summer, 4 Alligator wrestlers lost fingers to Bill Cower.
- The phone company is hoping that Bill Cower will retire soon. They would like to have their best ever cable cutter back.
- DNA results are conclusive: Bill Cower is a direct descendent of the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
- Bill Cower’s jaw is the missing link.
- During a family vacation to the Amazon jungle, a primitive tribe mistook Bill Cower for the god from which the Amazon River originates. They believe his spit to have medicinal qualities. During the hour or so Bill Spoke with the tribe, they were able to collect 137 gallons of healing spit.
- As a kid, Bill Cower had a job shoeing horses. He never had any tools, just his jaw.
- When Bill Cower is presenting game film, none of the players are willing to sit in the front row for fear of a jaw related injury. Also, if the meeting runs too long, they might end up below the high spit mark.
- Bill Cower doesn’t have air bags in his car. He has sand bags.
- Bill Cower considers George Washington a pussy. Wooden teeth? Pussy!
- Bill Cower has to have his titanium teeth caps replaced annually.
- Geologists have frequently used Bill Cower’s jaw to test theories on the pressure at the Earth’s core. He sometimes spits lava.
- Bridge designers had to engineer Bill Cower’s braces when he was a teenager.
- Bill Cower has to use arm extensions to help around the house. He can’t reach past his jaw.
- Bill Cower’s tongue is an interesting genetic adaptation. It is made of Teflon.
- Like the song, Bill Cower met his wife at a bus stop on a rainy day. He didn’t share his umbrella though. He used the umbrella, she used his chin.
- Bill Cower’s wife wears a helmet during sex. You learn after a couple concussions.
posted by RauluaP at 12:50 PM
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