Monday, November 27, 2006

Library for Dummies

I just read a thing today in the Washington Post how The Village Idiot's minions intend to raise $500 million for the Idiot's library. It will be housed at SMU and will not only feature the library but will also be used to create a "think tank" where Idiot-friendly scholars are paid to write books and papers and opinions that speak favorably of the Idiot's "policies".

There are far too many obvious jokes to list here. But I'm going to try, damn it! I will list as many as I can come up with and you feel free to join in the fun.

- One cool thing about a library for a President with the Village Idiot's mental capacity: I bet it has a really great comic book section!
- Do you have to have documented proof that you burned at least 5 books making reference to evolution, global warming, or fossil fuel alternatives before you can be hired as a librarian at the Village Idiot's library.
- A THINK TANK for the VILLAGE IDIOT. The whole thing is a shallow end.
- We'll finally know the answer to the age old question: if everyone that visits a particular library is illiterate, do the books contain any words?
- Since it's the Village Idiot's think tank, shouldn't it more properly be called a think bowl? Or maybe think spoon?
- Over/under for pop-up books at the Village Idiot's library: 492. I'm taking the over.
- Only this President would need to pay people to continue to spin his "policies" AFTER he's President.
- Who would have thought it would cost $500 Million to relocate Fox News's headquarters to the campus of SMU?
- Any chance this library can get the same treatment the NCAA gave to SMU's athletic department?
- Why SMU? Did Liberty's campus not have the space and did heaven itself reject the idea?
- Has the opening of a library ever set thinking BACK 100 years?
- If you don't return one of your books on time to the Idiot's library, are you declared an enemy combatant? What techniques are at the librarians' disposal for retrieval of over due books?
- Given this administration's notoriety for secrecy, are there actually going to be enough documents to fill a library let alone a book?
- Invest in Glade stock now because sales of air-freshener in Dallas is going to go through the roof with the mountain of BS that's going to get piled up there.
- I'm not sure the librarians are going to be prepared for how much laughing there will be going on there. Intelligent people are bound to slip through the doors from time to time and it will be impossible not to laugh at the fiction being disseminated as facts there.
- I hope there's an interactive area where visitors can pretend to be the media. You get a chance to kiss the butt of a statue of the Village Idiot. You can ask an actor playing the Press Secretary a tough question and just watch him dance in response. And then on your way out, you're given a chance to copy, word for word, from a leaflet written by one of the members of the think spoon and see if you can get it printed as "news."
- In what section should we expect to find My Pet Goat?

I joke because otherwise, I'd want to cry. Seriously though, the dude spent less than that on his re-election. Wasn't that a big enough waste of money? Couldn't these idiots figure out something more important to do with it than memorialize and try to defend one of the most divisive Presidents ever. No? That's the best we can do? Pathetic. And I bet they call themselves Christians (People have used my father's religion against him in similar arguements, I figure I'm allowed once in a while, too!).

No Fun

This is something I wrote and intended to post on the Wednseday before Turkey Day. But I forgot. For the record, the closet door installation went very smoothly. So here you go:

The least productive 5 hours of a person's work year has to be the 5 hours after lunch and before he goes home on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It's unrealistic to expect people to be able to concentrate on anything. Everyone's thinking about yummy food and a super long weekend. It's one of the things I miss the most about Sinclair: my manger understood such a concept. The culture at my current work is such that you get a threat of being fired if you try to forward an e-mail to your personal account. It's very different, very difficult to get used to and very unlikely to be letting people leave before 5 much less before 6.

Anyway, I decided that rather than sit around and not pretend to be busy, I'd write up a blog. It's by far the most productive thing I've done since I got back from lunch.

Stuff I'm thinking about that has nothing to do with work:

I can't wait to get home and se e my puppies. Elwood is so funny when I get home. He'll definitely be lying down on our bed. I'll walk in the room and his only reaction will be to roll over and offer up his belly for a good rubbing. I always comply. Our newest addition, Greta, will walk up and head butt you. Not hard or menacingly, but very gently and lovingly. It's best to sit on the floor as she approaches you with her head down so that you can really get full brunt of the love butt. She'll bury her head right in your chest. It's the best.

I bought closet doors for our bedroom (Greta is a serial chewer) and I'm extremely worried that they're going to be too big. I took measurements this morning and I measured them to be 4 feet, 10 inches. The door I got are 5 feet. The next smallest would have been 4 feet which would have just looked ridiculous. Of course there's a chance that I'm remembering incorrectly and instead of remembering that they were 2 inches shy of 5 feet, they might be 2 inches abover 4 feet. I'm really annoyed with myself for not writing the measurements down. But if I didn't get the doors today then it'd be another week before it'd be safe to brave the stores. I can't express how annoyed I am with this whole thing right now.

I'm looking forward to turkey and mildly concerned that I won't like the gravy that is being made. Dinner is being hosted by my brother's brother-in-law. It should be a good spread, but me and gravy go together like turkey and Thanksgiving.

I'm looking forward to going to Miami on Friday. Not sure what's on tap for the day, but I'm certain we'll have fun. If Jenn and I head down early enough, we'll get to go rollerblading. Even if we just sit around with Pamela an Blair it will be fun.

And I'm still thinking about the closet doors. Stupid doors!

Friday, November 17, 2006


I'll be honest: I fully expected Republicans to hold onto both houses of Congress last week. I thought that the Republican establishment, and the President in particular, had far far too much to lose if Democrats won. For the past 6 years, the Village Idiot has been able to run the government amok unchecked and the prospect of a Congress that would actually put a little bite behind it's Oversight role has to scare him silly. The thought of the Idiot and his handlers having to actually assign some accountability to their actions makes me absolutely giddy. The Rebulitards can call it whatever they want - their favorite is The Blame Game - I'm ready to play. It's time the American people know exactly how an administration as incompetent as this one manages to produce fiasco after fiasco. I just hope before it's all said and done we have a few answers on the lead up to Iraq, the rebuilding of Iraq and the response to Katrina. And that these messes will lead to even more disclosure.

So that's the first thing that makes me happy about the events of last week. The next is the idea that the press might actually wake up a little bit. They've been just as culpable in allowing the Village Idiot to get a free pass. He's been serving them up 9/11 flavored Kool-aid for 5 years and they lap it up. They need to stop acting as amplifiers to the Administration's message and start actually setting the agenda of public discourse. They need to demand real answers to the questions they pose and filter through the emptiness that is provided. Somebody other than Jon Stewart and Helen Thomas needs to step up and expose the entire Administration as the deceitful fear-mongers that they are. The people deserve to know that, just like in FDR's time, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. And fear is exactly what the Village Idiot serves up.

Like most everyone else, I was also thrilled when Rummy got the axe. You have to scratch your head and wonder why they'd wait until AFTER the election. It's likely that that small of a gesture would have been enough to push either Montana or Virginia in the direction of the Republicans in the Senate. How the Village Idiot didn't recognize that is a mystery. Except that you have to think that maybe they've been drinking their own Kool-aid. More than likely, though, they were probably concerned that showing a slight sign of doubt would disenchant a few more of their base voters. You know, the one's that weren't already disenchanted by the page sex scandal and a total failure to push forward the conservative social agenda.

But here's the really startling thing about this election: 34% of Americans still approve of the job Bush is doing. Who are these people?!?! I mean, his approval rating should be around 5%. 1% from the people that control over 80% of the wealth in the US, and 4% from idiots that think a Mexican sneaking across the border is going to steal their job. That's it. Those are the only people that he can even pretend to give lip service to any more. The Village Idiot has either botched every attempt (or non-attempt) to appease his base or actively marginalized everyone else. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?!?!

Monday, November 06, 2006

A blog for Jenn

Jenn recently said she doesn't read my blog anymore because it's about sports and politics all the time. Well, on the eve of the election, I'm going to blog about the excitement on the home front.

First, on Saturday this week, we get FURTATURE!!!! Thanks to be super duper generous brother we are getting a couch and an absolutely amazing patio set. If the patio set weren’t one of the nicest I’d ever seen, I’d be talking non-stop about how amazing the couch is. My bro and the fam are getting set to move into their nearly completed house and this Saturday is move out day. Unfortunately for them, move in day isn’t for a couple weeks, but they insist they’ll be OK. And not to sound selfish or nuthin, but Jenn and I are just way too excited about having a couch. Couldn’t be more excited, really. WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A COUCH!!!!

We had a very nice weekend. Blair and Pamela come over for a little birthday celebration for Jennifer (happy birthday on Tuesday, baby!!!!). It’s always nice having company over, especially the best of company. Jenn had her first day off without travel in a long long time. She was very pleased about that. She even got some school work done. Yay her!!

The previous weekend, we went to our Nations Capital for a wedding. It was for my college roommate Steve. The ceremonies were in beautiful gardens. The reception was much fun. That’s a wedding, for you. Good scenery. Good dancing. Good times.

Lastly, we’re going to be getting another addition to the family. The four legged variety, before you go getting ideas. Next weekend, we’re going to go back tot eh pound to find a friend for our dog Elwood. It’s time. He’s comfortable enough with us that we think it will be beneficial to him to have a friend. We’re going to look for someone a little (OK, a lot) more comfortable around strangers. We’re hoping she’ll be able to rub off on him in that regard.

Looky there! I love you, baby!